One in two marriages ends in divorce. Approximately 40,000 divorces were filed in Indiana last year. Human nature causes all of us to question our marriages from time to time: We only see the public side of the other couples, or what they want us to see; it is easy to think everyone else has it better.
As an Indianapolis divorce firm, we know that this is not true. All relationships worth having have rough patches. If they didn’t, you wouldn’t be a couple because the key is to see the good in the other in the worst of times. Problems are the rule, not the exception.
However, there are three key problems that make a couple more likely to divorce — and perhaps mean that they should do so. Understanding these will help you identify what are normal marital stressors and which ones might signal FUNDAMENTAL problems in your relationship that you need help to address:
- Infidelity. Affairs shake spouses to the core. Even the most forgiving partner may later view trivial matters and see more. In any event, an affair is a sign that the marriage is in trouble, and an effective divorce lawyer will help you decide what to do to try to save the marriage — but be prepared it if falters.
- Mental Illness/Addiction. In divorce cases, we see mental-health dimensions occur with more frequency than you would typically imagine. Often, childhood matters, such as molestation or undiagnosed PTSD, manifest themselves during the marriage. The other unwitting spouse becomes the focal point of the other’s sadness, frustration or rage. If the marriage is to continue or end in a more controlled way, an intervention must be put into place sooner rather than later. An unchecked mental illness or addiction will escalate and create a vicious cycle of allegations and innuendo, destroying both spouses along the way. The decision to divorce takes the collective and coordinated efforts of family, friends, medical professionals and experienced divorce lawyers.
- Financial Problems. In today’s global downturn, spouses are losing jobs, taking lower-paying jobs, or experiencing role reversals of the stay-at-home parent versus working spouse. Unfortunately, what we see follow is a toxic mix of low self-esteem and a lower standard of living. The blame game deteriorates the marital relationship. Lawyers from divorce attorneys to business and bankruptcy attorneys may alleviate some of this stress.
Is your marriage suffering from one of these profound and fundamental problems? Is your marriage worth saving? Can the marriage be saved? Don’t know? How do you protect yourself from the unknown? These are the very questions that we as effective family-law advocates equip you to answer. In fact, a good divorce lawyer may be the key to saving the marriage. If this article raises questions in your mind, you might be ready to talk with divorce counsel.